parents

"Parents are trying to hold on to their value system and traditions and raise their children that way, but when the children get out of the home, they're taught to be assertive and parents misinterpret this as disobedience," said Bella Cenezero of the Parent Support Services Society of B.C. "At the centre, they can express their concerns without being blamed or judged."

But in the GTA, there aren't enough services to help immigrant families adjust to raising children in a society with different values. "There are very few services dealing with parenting issues here," said lawyer and activist Avvy Go. "There is always a generational gap between parents and kids. Now add to that culture tensions."

While the adjustment may be difficult for parents, it's also tough for teenagers who feel torn between preserving their parents' culture and embracing their new one. Friends say this is the argument that may have led to the death of 16-year-old Aqsa Parvez. The Mississauga teen was slain in the family home Monday morning. Her father is in police custody and will appear in court today.

The two reportedly clashed over culture, with the teen shunning the hijab and questioning her father's traditional Muslim views. "While this is obviously an extreme case, I think many families struggle with culture tension," said Go, director of the Metro Toronto Chinese and Southeast Asian Legal Clinic. "You see parents come here, they may not speak English as a first language and kids, if they're born here, may end up forgetting their first language and there becomes a language barrier between the parents and kids."

The result, she said, is they struggle to have meaningful conversations. This comes at a time when teens may already be struggling to discover their own identity, said Amita Handa, who has written about the conflict between first and second generation South Asians. "Often you get that leading a double life phenomenon," said Handa, who wrote Of Silk Saris and Mini-Skirts. "You may wear one thing at your parents' place and then switch clothes on the way to school.

"(Teens) are constantly switching masks to fit in, please and belong to whatever context they may be in." Some experts say Parvez's death speaks more to issues of domestic abuse and violence toward women.

"It would be a mistake to put it all on culture clashes, when in fact this is what you see from patriarchy," said Joan Simalchik, co-ordinator of the Study of Women and Gender Program at the University of Toronto. "It would be a mistake to isolate (her death) to just one particular culture or one particular religion because this is something, unfortunately, we see globally."

Margarita Mendez of Nellie's, a safe house for abused women and children, said this sounds like a case of power of men over women. "It appears to be control over traditions and culture," said the executive director, adding there are more young women contacting the shelter for these reasons.

Sumayyah Hussein, a 25-year-old university student, agrees. Hussein, who wears a hijab and is active in the Muslim community, does not believe reported tensions between Parvez and her father are rooted in religion.

"To think that someone would take the life of another person because they won't follow that external manifestation of the belief (the hijab) – it undercuts the bigger values of Islam

The following is a list of points of emphasis from a handout given to parents with children in the Mount Laurel (N.J.) United Soccer Association. This handout is designed to minimize and eliminate sideline coaching from parents. We hope that you can adapt some or all of these guidelines in this form or another to your coaching situation.
1. Be positive. Be supportive. Cheer for the team. Encourage all of the players. Keep negative comments to yourself, especially those directedat another parent's child. Remember that the players are doing the best that they can and that playing good soccer is more difficult than it looks.
2. Do not coach. Let the coaches make adjustments as they see the need. Many times the instruction from a spectator is exactly the opposite of the instruction given by the coach. Allow the players the freedom to make their own decisions and learn from their mistakes. Spectator statements like "Stay Wide," Clear It," "Pass The Ball," "Get Rid of It," "Move Up," "Move Back," etc., tend to undermine the need for players to communicate with each other.
3. Never address players on the other team, except to encourage.
4. Treat the officials with respect. All officials make mistakes. All humans make mistakes. Let the officials be human. Let the coaches approach the officials if they feel the need. The referee may be wrong, but not as often as you are? Have you ever seen a referee change his mind because a parent shouted at him or her?

http://www.thefootballmanual.com

5. Do not engage is game-related discussions with parents from the opposing team. We will be playing these teams for many years to come. We want to be known in the soccer community as an organization that has class whether we win, lose or draw. The game score will not be remembered. The argument or inappropriate remarks will be.
6. Leave the game on the field. When the game is over, no amount of comment, question or discussion with the players, officials or coaches can change the outcome. Regardless of the outcome, the coaches will evaluate the performance, reinforce the good things and work to correct the things needing improvement.
7. Keep the game fun. Winning is more fun than losing, but each player shuld enjoy playing because they love the game. Avoid offering bribes or "pumping up" your child. Allow them to become self-motivated. Make sure that you take time to enjoy the game yourself. I have heard comments from some of the team that they dread it when their parents start shouting at the referee. It is noticeable that when some parents get more and more agitated, their child gets more and more withdrawn during the game.
Think about your own job. If you have someone who you knew was going to shout at you every time you made a mistake, wouldn't you stop putting yourself in the position to make thie mistake? That is what happens with some of the players on the team. they would rather not have the ball than risk having it and making a mistake!
The Six Things You Should Say To Your Child
(by Bruce Brownlee, Atlanta, Ga.)
A lot of soccer parents with good intentions give a 30-minute lecture in the car on the way to each match. Too often this lecture is filled with all their child's supposed deficiencies while including tons of playing advice. They arrive far off their optimal mental state and dread the critique they are likely to hear, whether they want it or not, on the way home. Kids who are massaged in this way tend not to play badly; they just tend not to play, possibly to avoid making mistakes.
Parents should memorize and use the following six simple phrases:
Before the match:
1. I love you.
2. Good luck.
3. Have fun.

After the match:
1. I love you.
2. It was great to see you play.
3. What would you like to eat?

http://www.thefootballmanual.com

Apregnancy is full of emotions for both the expecting mom and dad. From the first positive test, you are sent on a roller coaster of ups and downs. Worries and elation run hand and hand and as the weeks and months fly by, you begin to wonder if you will ever be ready for this baby.

As ready as you think you are, parents are never truly prepared for the first moment that squirming, shrieking bundle is placed in your arms. Suddenly the hours of waiting and labor vanish and you know life will never be the same. And you re right it won t. That is why it is so important to prepare for the little one before her arrival, when you actually have time to do so!

The Big Stuff

The most exciting part of preparing for baby is procuring up the large items. Setting up the nursery, turning on the mobile just to listen to the lullaby, washing sheets, and assembling the swing are givens. Parents are told countless times what to register for or buy in the way of crib bedding, furniture, and baby gear. There are checklists with these items, and when you reach the bottom of the list, you feel a sense of satisfaction. But, are you really ready?

The Small Stuff

When you get the new baby home from the hospital, it s the little things that count. Most registries and baby stores don t tell you how important it is to have a great diaper bag or the (literally) hidden benefits of WeeBlocks. Burp clothes receive almost instant use and even though your little one won t be eating solid foods for a little while, you might be surprised at how much a bib can still catch.

New experiences are so meaningful, but still almost overwhelming when you get home. Your baby is ready for a bath, but how did the nurses do it at the hospital? Slippery babies and wet washcloths aside, is your baby soap gentle enough? You might consider trading in your standard bath items for vitamin rich baby skin care products that will soothe and protect baby s skin. Research your selection before baby arrives to ensure you have time to find the perfect items.

Taking Care of what s Most Important

Planning and purchasing aside, it is almost certain that both expectant mother and father will be stressed. While this is perfectly normal for both parents anticipating such a life changing event, the stress should be dealt with especially for mom as it can actually be dangerous in pregnancy.

As so many things are off limits to pregnant woman, you should take advantage of what is available. Take time for a spa day, or pamper yourself at home. Dad can help mom relax with a soothing massage. Special stretch mark minimizers are available that can not only make for a soothing rub, but also help battle those annoying stretch marks.

Regardless of how prepared you are, or how prepared you think you are, there will always be one last thing to grab or find once you re on your own with your new baby. Instead of letting the changes and excitement of becoming new parents overwhelm you, take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy parenthood. You can never get these moments back.

Going out for the evening is a fun time or it should be. However, for many parents (especially new parents) the experience is fraught with guilt, worry and anxiety.

In order to appreciate how they are feeling, try and view it from their point of view for a moment. Let s take new parents as an example.

For the past few months, these people have devoted themselves to this new infant suddenly living in their home. Before junior s arrival, going out was a breeze. They would just go - wherever and whenever they pleased. She would just grab her purse and they were out of that door.

A few months down the line, they are totally enchanted with the baby but their world has shrunk to catering for its every whim. They re probably punchy with sleep depravation and can t remember the last time they even made it through a TV movie without falling asleep. Going out with the baby has to be planned like a military operation. Checklist: diapers, bottles, blanket, changing mat, wipes Mom is exhausted before she leaves the house!

As the weeks go by, they realize that they really need some quality time alone together but that involves leaving their precious child. It becomes a huge and difficult decision. They need those few hours away to recharge their batteries and to re-connect with each other but what if? What if the house burns down, or the baby gets sick, or the babysitter turns out to be more Psycho than Mary Poppins ?

How you can make a difference ...

New parents are always going to worry the first time they go out and leave their child. But there is a lot that you can do, as a babysitter, to lessen that worry and to encourage them to be brave enough to try it again.

Looking and sounding professional will begin to win their trust. Behaving in a respectful manner in their home will help to build their confidence in you. Asking them all the right questions (baby s routine, their contact info etc) will build on that confidence. These may seem like small details but if you add them all together they present a picture of someone who is dependable and capable of keeping their child safe.

If the parents still seem shaky about the prospect of a night out, try suggesting a trial run . This could be a daytime event. It s widely recognized that everything feels safer and more manageable during the day.

Encourage them to take just a couple hours away from the home, maybe a visit to a Coffee Shop. If it means that you spend some of your Saturday doing this just think of the rewards it may reap. It may well lead to you getting a regular, enjoyable, paid job.

Building on your foundations ...

Once you land the job do it to the best of your ability. Always be well groomed and sensibly dressed. Always be polite and respectful. Always leave the home as you found it. And always remember that for those few hours, the kids are your priority.

If the kids are safe and happy, the parents will be too. Just remember that they come as a package. You may have entertained the kids extremely well but if Mom and Dad return to find the house like a bomb site you may not get asked back.

If all of this sounds a little excessive, just bear in mind that however well you get on with the kids, it is the parents who will decide whether to employ you or not. So it literally does pay to keep them happy!

Among other things, a good marriage is a salve against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. It is also a shelter from the storm of Murphy’s Law and, a safe haven of mutual support and security where we insulate ourselves from the impersonal and frightening unknowns of life as we chart our courses toward the future. Marriage is the quintessential security blanket in that it makes real the illusion that we are important and special and thus, will be cared for until death do us part. So, we venture out into a world of exciting and frightening tomorrows armed with a protective mantra, “No matter what happens everything will be alright.”

In my private practice I have observed how marital crises that eventuate in separation and divorce rip these security blankets to pieces. In best cases, the loss of a spouse may for several years leave us at least, on occasion to re-experience ourselves as young children separated from our mothers minus our security blankets. Thus we can feel ill equipped to care for ourselves let alone to take on added responsibilities as a single parent.

The dangers of not creating adequate support systems for ourselves is that we may unwittingly project our insecurities onto our children and/or wear these insecurities on our sleeves so that our children get the message: ”Please comfort mommy and daddy.” The former pitfall may instill in our children the belief that the world of relationships outside the parent-child unit are dangerous and to be avoided. The latter may turn our children into our own security blankets and overwhelm them with obligatory responsibility to assuage our fears and insecurities. In either case, the inevitable outcome is that our children will be wracked by conflict over establishing separate identities from us and moving out into the world.

To avoid falling into this trap I recommend that we develop trusted, single parent support systems whose functions will be naturally internalized over time as the seismic shocks of separation and divorce subside. This way we can learn that we are not alone, these problems are universal and finally, there is hope in building bonds to others who may guide us on the road to new and satisfying lives with our kids.

It seems that nowadays that more and more people are blaming their parents for a bad childhood, and somehow that reasoning gives them a license to misbehave as adults.

Blaming your parents for your current behavior is irrational and irresponsible. One of the steps towards adulthood and self fulfillment is to understand that every person is responsible for their own actions. You are responsible for yourself.

Most people dutifully profess love towards their children and parents. The reality is that the love is only lip service to sooth the public consciousness. When in fact through many past and present irrationalities, conflicts, and demands there is no real love. Lack of respect for the others rights leads to loss of genuine love and enjoyment between parents and children. The lack of trust makes love impossible.

However with that said, we all must realize that an important step towards emotional growth is to acknowledge that no one has an actual duty to love another. Not even parents towards their children, or children towards their parents.

Genuine love occurs only voluntarily, through a mutual exchange of objectives and emotional values. Genuine love between parents and children can and does occur in those relationships in which objectives and values are exchanged and allowed to grow.

When there is no love between parents and children both are partially responsible for some problems experienced by certain adolescents and young adults. Major problems between parents and children are often the result of loss of trust and respect between them. Parents fail to treat children as human beings with individual rights. Parents often resort to force and physical violence under the euphemism of discipline, protection or control.

The cycle becomes sustaining, but can be corrected with effort. It all comes down to an act of defiance, followed by harsh discipline. What should happen is open communication to discover the cause of the defiance. Physical violence is proof of communication failure, and should be avoided.

Too often parents are blamed for their grown children s faults and behavior. Once a person has reached the legal age they become irrevocably responsible for themselves. Blaming parents only hides or avoids self responsibility and the efforts needed to develop ones own self.

If children are never given respect, they never develop respect for their parents, for themselves or for values. Such children become the future problems as they do not value honesty with themselves or others. Always seeking to survive by usurping others, to get revenge for their upbringing while not taking responsibility for their own life.

The most valuable gift a parent can give to their children is the environment where they learn honesty, integrity, independence and the ability to use assertive effort to produce value for others. If your children are young enjoy them while you can, but respect them as fellow humans and they will grow to respect you and voluntarily love you.

If your children are grown and are still problems to them selves and society, tell them that you are not responsible for their actions, they are responsible for their actions. Give them a short explanation that they are independent human beings with individual rights and responsibilities. Tell them if you must that you apologize for their poor childhood, but the past is gone, all you have is now.

If you are an adult and you cannot talk to your parents, realize this; you are solely responsible for what you do and who you are. The past may have been less than desirable, but it is gone, over and done. You can be who you want to be!

So to sum up, treat each other as you would want to be treated, and the whole world becomes a better place.

Be Blessed

How to Have Anything You Want

"My parents were distant, unaffectionate people. I don't remember ever being held by them. They were never interested in how I thought or felt. I never felt important to them at all."

"My mother was crazy - nice one minute and the next a screaming maniac. My father was sweet but he was never around, and he never did anything to stop my mother from the emotional abuse."

"My father was an angry violent man and my mother was weak and pathetic. He often beat us and my mother did nothing to protect us."

"My mother didn't believe me when I told her that my father was molesting me. She is still with him, and still doesn't believe me."

Many people grew up with parents who didn't know how to love them in the ways they needed to be loved. Others grew up with parents who not only did not love them, but who were physically, emotionally and/or sexually abusive. Unloving and abusive parenting has far reaching affects on our lives.

Many people spend years trying to heal from their childhoods. Often, at some point in their healing process they ask, "Should I forgive my parents? Would it be healthy for me to forgive them? How would I go about feeling forgiveness toward them?"

Forgiveness is not a feeling that you can just decide to have. Many of my clients who decide that they want to forgive their parents find that the forgiveness doesn't last. Something happens and they find themselves once again angry with one or both of their parents.

In my work with my clients and with myself, I have discovered an important thing about forgiveness:

AS LONG AS WE ARE TREATING OURSELVES THE WAY OUR PARENTS TREATED US, WE CANNOT REACH TRUE FORGIVENESS.

* If your parents ignored you and you didn't feel important to them, as long as you continue to ignore your own feelings and needs, you will not be able to forgive your parents.

* If your parents were judgmental toward you, as long as you continue to judge yourself, you will not be able to forgive your parents.

* If your parents were physically or sexually abusive to you, as long as you abuse your own body or allow others to abuse you, you will not be able to forgive your parents.

Most of our parents were unhealed, wounded people, doing the best they could. Since they were our role models, they passed their woundedness on to us, so that the wounded part of us is generally a carbon copy of the wounded parts of them.

When you decide to embark on a healing journey, it is this part of you - your wounded self - that needs healing. Healing occurs as you compassionately open to learning about the false beliefs of your
wounded self - the beliefs you absorbed as you were growing up. The more you understand the fears and beliefs of your wounded self and learn to live from truth rather than from these fears and limiting beliefs, the more loving and compassionate you feel toward yourself and others.

You will find that your anger and resentment toward your parents gradually fades away as you learn to treat yourself in the ways you always wished your parents would have treated you. As you learn to feel compassion for the wounded parts of you, you will naturally feel compassion for the wounded parts of them. Forgiveness is the natural outcome of doing your own inner healing work.

However, just because you forgive your parents, doesn't mean that you want to spend time with them. If they continue to be unloving or abusive people, you might decide to forgive them from afar. It is wonderful for your wellbeing to let go of anger and blame and feel forgiveness in your heart, and it is also wonderful to give yourself permission to not be around your parents if it is not in your highest good to do so.

If your parents have mellowed over the years, you might find that you enjoy spending time with them, regardless of what happened in the past.

Praise the Parents

If you are facing a son or a daughter and an opportunity comes when you have to refer to their parents. You should be very much cautious that you do not talk ill of them. If need be you should have praise for them. You may be recalling some instances when their parents had been helpful to you or they did some work for you. You call the days when his or her father or mother had been your class-fellow and they were showing high achievements in their study. Hundred and one instances could be there which you can recall, but at no stage you should condemn the parents before their son or daughter. Everybody is proud of his or her parents and they want that others should also refer to them as good people. You do not lose anything, but in return you gain because such children shall be having all praise, regard and respect for you. They shall be adding more things about their parents which were not in knowledge and this additional information would be very useful to you. You should be very cautious when you are meeting them together. Inspite of the fact that father or mother had been very close to you, but all those liberties must be kept intact and you must ensure that the respect and regard of parents had been maintained by you especially in presence of their children.

Should you tutor your own child? You as a parent may think that there is nothing wrong with that but others may disagree. There is absolutely nothing wrong with helping your child with their homework but when it comes down to helping your child with a certain problem that they have been having it may not be such a great idea. No one knows your child's strengths and weaknesses like you do but parents in these instances prove not to be the best tutors.

Parents want to see their child exceed at everything they do and their academics are no different. A parent's experience in certain subjects may be very limited. For example, would a parent be able to help their child with algebra or trigonometry? Most likely not, unless the parents are teachers in these subjects. Parents may also have an issue with pushing their kids too hard.

Parents in these situations may think their child is lazy and not in the need of help that they truly need. So they push their kids to pay attention and kids get frustrated and then they end up learning nothing and the parent child relationship is strained.

As a parent you want to help your child in any way possible but by becoming their tutor you may be doing more harm than good. There is nothing to say that when your child gets a tutor that you cannot sit in on the sessions and learn along with your child so that you can help them when the tutors are not there. That would be an additional bonus in helping your child. If your child is getting help with science or social studies then you can aid in that help by getting some information off of the web.

You have to ask yourself as a parent, Can I contribute to my child's education? Will they learn from anything I teach them? By helping them in English, Science and Social Studies the answers would be yes because the information available on the web is outstanding but in subjects like math, can you really be an asset? Unless you are a math teacher in algebra or higher math education, then probably not. You want the best for your child then get them the tutorial help that they need. You can be apart of that learning process as well.

Maybe not in a direct manner as in actually teaching your child but as far as additional help that is never frowned upon. If you believe that you can help your child, then to be fair give it one week. Try to assist your child in the area that they need help in. If they are benefiting from your help then continue but if at the end of the week, they are not learning anything or understanding any better the topic at hand then get them the help they need.

One of the greatest obstacles facing parents who wish to take their children out of the public school system for home schooling is fear especially fear about their abilities to teach. No parent wants to be responsible for their child missing out on any important educational elements but, in most states, parents don t have to be certified teachers in order to instruct their children at home.

When it comes to home schooling, parents have to be prepared for the fact that they re going to be doing some learning of their own. You can t automatically be an expert in every topic that you ll need to help your child with, and each parent will find their own strengths and weaknesses. The key is to avoid passing those weaknesses onto your child. Angela MacArthur, editor of homeschoolingplus.com, reminds parents that The trick is to be ready to be flexible and creative. The fact is, parents can teach and they might actually prove to be the best teachers for their children!

Really, the great thing about home schooling is the flexibility you decide what s going to be taught and how. This means, if there s something that you don t feel comfortable with you can always find alternate ways to teach it to your child. This is where you really get the chance to give your child an education they ll never find in a traditional school. Many home schoolers take advantage of video and internet sources (as do many teachers and professors in campus school settings). Some also decide to learn with the student so that a sense of exploration and discovery shape the lesson. Instead of providing straight answers and direct guidance, parents join the child in solving problems and researching the topic.

There are a number of different resources and paths to take when you re teaching your child. Why take the traditional route when you ve already decided that it s not right for your child? When it comes to subjects you re unfamiliar with you could:

sign your child up for an individual class (either in school, online or at a community center)

arrange for your child to sit in on college lectures

attend a speech or other community event

attend a tour guided by an expert

consult an author or other type of expert for tips, or even invite them to your home to speak with your child

canvas other home schoolers and see if there are lessons that you could pool : you teach several children in your area of expertise and your children attend classes at another home schooler s place for any topic that you need help with

If none of these options appeal to you, then it s your responsibility to educate yourself in the subject area so that you can pass that knowledge on to your child. Make sure you do your homework and be prepared for questions!

Don t let fear or uncertainties stop you from home schooling your children. Remember, teachers don t know everything! Most public school teachers specialize their learning throughout their post secondary education and have to refresh their memories or even learn something new when they re preparing to step into the classroom. Things will be no different for a home school teacher.

Life can be bitter-sweet. One moment I am grieving the loss of a loved one and the next minute I am praising God for the loved ones in my life; especially my children—which had me wondering how I could make sure my children knew just how much I loved them and treasured our times together.

Get too mushy and your teen will head for the door. Stay standoffish and he’ll never get the message. “There has to be a happy medium,” I thought to myself. “But what could it be?” Then God smacked me right in the face. The answer was easy. Be a good listener!

It’s ironic how God knows just what you need to hear, when you need to hear it. Sitting in Bible study this past Sunday, our class discussed how our parents communicated with us as children and how it impacted our lives. While there was a vast difference in communication styles, it came down to two things: parents who didn’t engage in verbal communication left their children feeling less important than their adult counterparts, and parents who did engage in verbal communication left their children feeling important, valued, and worthy of their parent’s time.

But what was good communication and how do we, as parents, achieve that role? We start by opening our hearts to the Lord and allow His presence to fill us as we put aside daily distractions and enthusiastically engage in real conversations with our children.

But engaging in conversation means we have to really listen to what the other person has to say. In this case, we have to let down some of our parental walls and give our children a chance to open up.

And we can do this by:
1. reminding ourselves that our children are not an extension of ourselves;
2. not minimizing their feelings about a situation;
3. remaining non-judgmental;
4. being slow to respond and really hearing the whole story;.
5. not interrogating our children; and
6. not reading too much into what is being said.

Listening takes effort. It also takes energy, flexibility, and time. Aren’t our children worth far more than an hour in front of the television?

I challenge each of us to step out of our comfort zones, and learn to be effective listeners and communicators with our children.

Parents in India
Most of the parents in India are not rich people and that is the reason they are not in a position to bring up their children as per their desire. They are not in a position to give to their children proper education, proper training and that is the reason they are not able to adjust their wards at proper work. They are poor people and they are producing poor people and that is the reason poverty in growing in India. If in 1947 one man was poor he has given birth to four sons and now these sons have given birth to 12 more sons and thus about 16 families are poor now. We must accept that if one man is poor, he shall be breeding more and more people poor because his dynasty shall not come out of poverty. The poor people shall not be able to adjust their wards and their sons shall also not be in a position to establish their wards.
Had our government be alive towards poverty in 1947 or in 1950 they should have identified all the poor families and then they should have taken up all those families and they must have made it sure that they should not have left children without education, training and adjustment at work. The present method of giving some employment in a year is not the right solution because through this process some people get some money just to run the kitchen and this program is not for eradication of poverty from India. If we give mid-day meals, some books, some stationery items or some stiped to the students from poor families, that too is not the right solution. such process often give to the students inferiority complex because when they are getting all these concessions in presence of other students from rich families, they feel inferiority complex and once they are down in inferiority complex, they would never rise as complete persons. The state should not play with the feelings of students from poor families.
We are sorry to note that we have people expert in the line, but they too are not coming forward with schemes and proposals through which we can write off poverty from India. If they are suggesting these methods for solving problems of poverty in India, then we should feel sorry for these people and we should pray that sense must prevail upon them and they should come forward with suggestion with the use of which we could write off poverty from India. Whatever measures our state is taking are not useful because these measures could not write off poverty from India during all these six decades. More and more people are turning poor and joining this line. There is no need of conducting a survey in India. We can look at the faces of the people and we shall be able to separate poor people because their faces tell us the whole story. They are weak, they are not well dressed, they are wearing rags, they are ill, they are sad, they are condemned, they are not happy and they are underfed. If we ask them a question," What shall be the result if we add 2 and 2" their answer shall be 'Four breads" and nothing more.
Time has come when the people expert in rooting out poverty should work on this subject and if need be they should take help from such experts living in other countries too and they should give a complete report to government of India so that they could adopt the right path for rooting out poverty from India. There had been something wrong with the policy which had been in operation during the last six decades here in India. This should have been the first step towards right direction because people who are poor are not complete persons and if such people are there in a democracy, then there is something wrong when we call such a state a democracy and we shall have to say something about the parents too because giving birth to children is very easy, but to bring a complete man on this earth is a difficult job and parents in India are not capable to bring a complete man on this earth. The parents must think over this matter and must find out a suitable answer to this question.
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Step parenting is rarely easy and a new stepparent has to show a lot of patience, tolerance and warmth. The first time you meet the children of your new partner may be awkward all around, so just be yourself. Be secure in the fact that your partner loves you and will stand by you. The death of a parent or parent’s divorce is always hard on children, irrespective of their ages. No parenting strategies for stepparents can prepare you entirely for the children’s reaction to a new person in their parent’s life, but losing your cool never helps. Let your warmth and interest in their activities be apparent and just be your natural, pleasant self. Parenting strategies for stepparents may differ, depending on whether the children live with you, whether their other parent is around, and how old the kids are. It also depends on whether you have your own biological children, and where they live. Most of all, it depends on what you and your partner decide is best. There are no rules as to how involved you need to get with the children, but if they live with you naturally you may have the responsibility of supervising their daily routine. Accept that there is likely to be resentment and that children may see you as an intruder. Whatever parenting strategies for stepparents you use, try and make the transition as easy as possible for the children. They are parts of lives shared with your partner before you came on the scene. You cannot be a part of that past, but you need not be someone they see as changing the way their life used to be. Be patient with them and pay attention to their needs. Your thoughtfulness will win them over in time.

Your stepchildren may welcome you or be hostile towards you, but ultimately living in the same house calls for some ground rules. You and your partner need to discuss the role you will play in the children’s lives, and then the entire family has to talk about his together. Parenting strategies for stepparents have to be based on openness and fair play. As adults, you and your partner have to guide the kids and be tolerant with them. This does not mean that they should not be disciplined, but they should not lose trust in their parents.

It is best if the disciplining is initially left to the biological parent. Your role in the family should also be clearly spelt out from the start. Once you have grown more familiar with the household you can ask the kids to help you with some chores. Do not tolerate rudeness, but do not lose your dignity in the process of admonishing them. One of the best parenting strategies for stepparents is to befriend the children on their terms. Try and spend time with them alone; slowly a relationship will grow between you. Let them also have time alone with your partner. Take time to make things easy for them to stay in touch with their other parent. They will realize that you respect all these relationships.

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We hear it everyday. Many of today's parents are more overprotective than they once were. Teachers complain that parents are doing their children's homework for them. Children complain that they can't do anything without being under the watchful eyes of Mom or Dad. No matter where the children are or what they're doing, their parents are not very far away.

Most parents certainly mean well. They want the best for their children. It's clear that parents should get involved with their children's lives as a positive mentor, teacher, and guide. As a society, we want parents to care about their children's feelings, successes, and goals. But sometimes, some Moms and Dads might do too much for their children. This can inhibit their children's ability to learn how to work and play independently.

A helicopter parent is one who hovers over their child and swoops in at any sign of discomfort or challenge. They are considered by most to be overprotective.

Parents can be overprotective for all different reasons. Here are a few:

1. Need for control: Moms and Dads can't control Bin Laden. They have no control over the pedophiles or the kidnappers they read about in the paper. They can, however, control how their children spend their time and of course, with whom.

2.Bigger, Better, Faster: Children who are learning skills are usually slower and less adept than their parents. Therefore, it's not surprising for parents to feel that "It will be faster, bigger, bolder, and just plain better if I take charge."

3. Fear the failure: These Moms and Dads can not stand by and watch their child feel inadequate, unprepared, or miserable in any way. It is too heartbreaking. They believe that it's their job to shield their child from these negative emotions.

4. Desire to live vicariously: These Moms and Dads spend their time doing a large amount of their child's work and looking for acceptance and approval for their own performance. They get personally invested in every aspect of every activity their child engages in and take it to heart when their child fails.

5. Entitlement: These parents are constantly checking to see how you are treating their child in comparison to others. They keep their eyes on everyone else's plate. They believe that their child should get more of your time, additional energy from your staff, and lots of free "extras." If it will help their child, they will ask for it.

6. Need to keep them young: Some Moms and Dads are saddened by the idea of their children maturing and needing them less. When children are dependent on their parents, parents can feel needed and wanted.

It takes a very patient, secure parent to allow their children to employ self reliance. Children who are self reliant are confident in their own skills and therefore, are more apt to go after their dreams.

Do not counter your parents.
Dalip Singh Wasan, Advocate.

People may believe that they have been sent on this earth by God Himself and we go back when He recalls us. But at the same time we shall have to accept that we have come here on this earth through our parents and up till now, we could not see a person who has come on this earth directly from God. Even the people who have got some place in mythologies and in history and who had been founding religions and had been telling us that they are God had come on this earth through their parents and none has come directly from the side of God. That is the reason in Hindu Shastras, it has been admitted that parents are above all and none on earth can have a place equal to parents.
Time is going on and we, who had started from stone age are now talking to the skies. In other words, what the parents could not do, their children are doing that. But still the children must understand that they had not come and they were not with all the wisdom, intellect and competency at their command when they were born. Their parents had been looking after them and they had been bringing them up. The parents had been saving him or her when there was cold, when there was hot and when they were wet or were lying in wet and dirty bed. The man knows that he starts caring for himself only when he comes in the age of 10 years or more and even at this stage, he is not in a position to earn and can provide himself for all the facilities which are required for proper development.
If one has an introspection, he shall come to the conclusion that he would no have survived had their been no parents or others to look after him or her. We all know that we need proper education, proper training, proper adjustment in life, proper earning and then we are to marry and settle a house. And lucky are those who have got parents and they could get all help from the side of their parents. The people who have got no parents because the parents died earlier or they had been lost in crowds, never get the same psychology as a normal child could get through parents. The child who got no parents to look after him or her remains all alone in life and he never feels that he has got someone to protect him or her.
The child is compensating his or her parents and therefore, there are chances that he or she would be having more education, more training, more wisdom, more intellect, more income and a higher status in society and in the work place, but still he is not better than his or her parents and therefore the child must keep in mind that he shall not compare himself or herself better than his or her parents. He must be thankful to his parents who could provide him facilities through which he could achieve these heights and should never counter his parents. We, the people of India know the story of Shri Rama who left his house only because his father had directed him to leave the house and even his rights to have the throne. It means, the order of the parents should be followed and no child should say that the order from the side of his or her parents is wrong and therefore, he would not follow that order.
You may carry out the order of your parents or you may not carry out the order of your parents, but one thing should be taken care of that you should not refuse to carry out the order of your parents at their face and tell them that they are in the wrong. The parents are not in a position to bear all this because they are living only with one hope in their mind that their children are obedient and they shall be carrying out the orders of their parents. This psychology and wish of the parents must be kept alive and the parents should fee proud of the fact that their children are advancing.
We must understand that all in the world other than the parents may feel jealous when we are rising, but the parents shall feel happy and shall pray for your more success. If we can pray for others, we must locate our parents who can pray for us and would always desire that we should go ahead and we should win all the ventures we have undertaken. Even your brothers and sisters may be having some love for you but still there are chances that they may not feel pleasure when you are rising higher and higher and sometime they may be having some property disputes with you. But your parents shall not be sad when you are rising. They shall be happy and they shall be proud of the fact that you are rising and rising higher in life.
So when we are allotting status and position to others, we should have more care when we have a look on our parents and they should be placed still higher and when we are doing all this we should not expect thanks from our parents. We are just doing something to repay the debt and we are not creating a debt against5 our parents. We are nobody to repay the debts which the parents have established against us and we may take thousands of such births, but still we are not in a position to clear the debts. So it is our duty to ensure that we are to say ‘yes my dear father, yes my dear mother’ and nothing more. No reasons and no explanations should be placed before parents nor we should try to establish before our parents that we are having more qualifications, more money and a higher status. We are still low and we should keep this position till our parents are alive and even after their dearth, we should not try to say that they had been in the wrong. They are right, they were right and they shall be right should be the lifelong idea with us.
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