10 questions to ask before hospitalizing your kid in a psychiatric facility from cary and mchenry
Even though you’ve been with your man for many years, it’s still important to know which questions to ask your boyfriend. The art of conversation should be preserved. It keeps the connection between you two alive and adds fireworks to any relationship.
If you want to know which questions to ask your boyfriend, read on!
1) What would you do if you can have any superhero powers?
Now this isn’t a regular romantic question, but it is a good question to ask your boyfriend (especially if he likes superhero and fantasy themes a lot).
For one, it allows him to be a little kid again and allows you a peek into his more playful side. Never mind that he might go on and on about his answer. This actually helps him forget about work-related problems and de-stress.
2) What would you do if we had the house to ourselves?
Asking your boyfriend this question will lead your conversation into passionate escapades. After all, it’s not often that you two have any privacy at all.
It’s a good way to flirt over the phone or even when you’re just hanging out together. This question will keep his mind preoccupied with thoughts of you and allow you to exchange physical fantasies even. This is a welcome spice to any mature relationship.
3) Is there anyone special in your life now?
Of course, the obvious answer here would be you. But doing it like a TV show host can have you two flirting for several minutes or so. Guys love to shower their girlfriends with lots of love and affection, and you coyly asking him about it will ensue in more love and affection.
These are just some of the questions to ask your boyfriend in order to get to know him better or just strengthen your bond with him. It’s good to kick off your heels and have a little fun question-and-answer portion with him sometime.
Finding a skilled marriage counselor who really cares about you and your marriage can be difficult. When considering relationship counseling, your self-esteem is often at its lowest point and when you experience constant bickering and arguments you may feel afraid that a divorce may be in your future.
You may also feel terrified and worry about the welfare of your kids. When you are suffering from a troubled marriage, the best thing you can do is reach out to a counselor.
Qualified relationship counselors come with various credentials. You should usually look for a licensed psychologist, clinical social worker or mental health counselor who specializes in marriage counseling. These highly trained counseling specialists have seen it all and can give you expert advice.
If you have never consulted a counselor before, but want to, you are probably feeling apprehensive. This is absolutely normal.
After all, you will be revealing to a stranger some of the most intimate and personal details of your life and it may be embarrassing and painful. But it can be well worth the opportunity for a new chance at a full and loving marriage.
To start, make a list of the features you are seeking in a counselor. For example, reflect on what you might like about your family physician.
You should be most concerned about finding someone with the right credentials and with whom you have a good rapport. You may need to find someone with flexible hours who can accommodate a hectic schedule.
For some, the most important thing is having a very knowledgeable counselor with an excellent reputation and extensive training. A good counselor should treat you with respect, patience, sensitivity, and courtesy.
Before your first visit, take the time to prepare a list of questions. Pick someone with whom you feel comfortable talking and with whom you will be able to carry on an open dialogue.
If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. Good marriage counselors want you to be prepared and to demonstrate an active interest in the process.
If you find your counselor stiff, rigid or difficult to talk to, consider finding a new one. You should never feel rushed, ignored, or unable to ask questions.
Let your counselor know about any anxiety or nervousness. This can help him or her become more sensitive to your concerns and will result in a better consultation.
After deciding to take this important step, here are some additional tips. For example, if the cost of treatment is paramount, consult your health insurance or employee assistance program at work to see if they cover counseling.
Also, you may be restricted to a specific network of professionals. If so, get the roster and then make an appointment as early as possible.
When going through the roster, remember that a well-trained marriage counselor must be a psychologist, social worker, marriage and family therapist or mental health counselor who is licensed to practice independently.
This licensure often requires the passage of an oral examination and/or a comprehensive written exam. He or she will have graduated from an accredited graduate school and have completed specialized training.
Another thing to look for is membership in a major professional association. These include The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, The American Counseling Association and The National Association of Social Workers.
Members of these organizations often receive continuing education classes and must remain in good standing to remain members. Also, pick a marriage counselor with lots of experience. The one with many years experience is more apt to make an accurate assessment and provide the best services.
Marriage counselors usually do not believe that people should enter counseling with the primary goal of trying to change their partners. It is frustrating, does not work and often makes things worse!
Remember, the ONLY person you can really change is yourself and sometimes that is not so easy either! One of the most horrendous mistakes you can make is to get married to an incompatible person thinking that you will be able to change him/her!
Also, sometimes only one person is motivated to pursue counseling or really improve the relationship. How can you deal with a difficult marriage when your partner does not want to change?
What do you do if you have a spouse who has a serious behavior problem i.e. compulsive gambling, drinking, or spending, explosive temper, inability to keep a job, emotionally or physically abusive, unfaithful etc. And what if he/she is not willing to go to counseling or work on the marriage?
What do you do? Some experts believe a marriage can become much better even if a difficult spouse never changes.
How? By working on oneself-by learning to HANDLE your spouses flaws more effectively i.e. not blaming, not allowing yourself to become over-involved in your partners problems, detaching yourself from the troublesome aspects of your spouses life, and even going to support groups and counseling to learn how to achieve all of this.
When your spouse is not cooperative, it is imperative that you assess your expectations and attitudes to determine how you alone can still be a positive force in your kids lives and in your relationship. However, there are no easy answers.
Much depends on how much you are willing to sacrifice to keep your marriage from falling apart. Most professionals would contend, however, that if your resistant spouse is causing you to be dysfunctional in maintaining your physical or mental health, or at home, in your job or with your kids or friends, it might be best or even necessary, to develop a plan to end the relationship.
One absolute rule is to not endanger yourself or your kids by remaining in an abusive relationship. The imperative of saving lives comes before that of saving your marriage.
A question that has plagued man from the beginning of time is how to ask a girl out. Why is the ball always in the man's court when you know more often than not, the question is going to be rejected and the man will squirm away with his tail between his legs. It simply is not fair, but it is usually the man's cross and it is something that you are going to have to deal with so suck it up and get on with it!
Asking a girl out in most cases is something that you are going to have to get yourself up for. Even when you are in a club and see some hottie dancing the night away which drives you wild; you are still going to have to mentally prepare yourself to approach her and get a response from her which could be either good or bad.
Regardless of the situation, you are going to have to get in there and talk to her a little.. You need to find out if you are on the same wave length and if asking her out is actually a real possibility. If you want to master how to ask a girl out, you must learn how to read women's body language as you will get plenty of hints if she is going to be receptive to you when you ultimately pop the question.
Now when you are getting ready to ask a girl out, you need to be able to deal with the possibility of hearing a no. It is not the end of the world. If you are a normal man, you are going to hear no much more often than you are going to hear yes. That has nothing to do with you, but with her circumstances, not every women you fancy is going to be available. However, every now and then you will hear that magic word, YES! That when it makes it all worth it.
During your conversation with her, you are going to need to get some things out of her like what she likes to do. Once you are armed with this information, it is time to move in for the kill. Casually mention something like a wine tasting or a movie of an actor that you have been discussing and then throw it out there, "hey there is a great wine bar on 13th street, you want to go check it out sometime?" It really is as simple as that. You are about as open as you are ever going to be during those brief seconds while you await the answer, so dig in and get ready for the worse, but expect the best! Nothing beats confidence and if you show you expect her to say no instead of yes, you are pretty much assured that is exactly what she is going to say. Be confident, and that yes will come just a few seconds later.
If you would like to learn about asking a girl out and the art of seducing beautiful women, then visit my website and get your hands on my free report that has changed the dating life of thousands of men and turned them into dating kings.
While it might seem like guys don't really care about being under the spot light, the truth is, they only mask their concerns with indifference. And sometimes, that mask slips off when a girl suddenly asks them one or two numbers from the ultimate list of embarrassing questions to ask a guy.
Alright, I might be going a little too far in saying that there is a real universal list, but there are some questions that fall into that category. Some of the most embarrassing questions to ask a guy might be totally harmless to you, but utterly mortifying for them. To make sure you don't trap both you and your guy in awkward situations, read on!
How Many Inches? Is It Circumcised?
Today's society might be more open than our forefathers but asking for the length of a guy's penis is still pretty much taboo wherever.
Sure, he used to compare sizes with his friends when he was growing up, but for a girl to ask him that can totally turn him twenty shades of red.
Most guys are sensitive about their length. This is one of the top most embarrassing questions to ask a guy so make sure you keep such thoughts to yourself. At least, until you two are more intimate.
Still on the subject of a guy's length. There are few things in this world than can embarrass men like nothing else. Unlike women who are usually more sensitive to physical attributes, men don't really put a lot of emphasis on what they look like. Until the subject of you-know-what comes up.
Circumcision is an issue that has different points of view, depending on what culture a man has. Nevertheless, this is one of the embarrassing questions not to ask a guy.
Do You Love Me?
This is especially true for men who are still not settled into their relationship. Or for young inexperienced lads who are not yet used to such straightforward questions about their affections.
It might seem odd for women (which totally supports the idea that women are from Venus and men are from Mars). Men are just not used to talking about their emotions. Although this is one question you would want to ask at some point in your life.
Even though emotions and organ size seem like two completely different things, they are issues that even the manliest man will blush at.
The male organ is a symbol of male pride and power. And men have been conditioned to acquire and acquire from the moment they were born. Anything that has to do with it will fall under the list of the most embarrassing questions to ask a guy. Emotions, on the other hand, are rarely talked about among men. However, limits to such questions are often dictated by how close you two are.
Whether it's your first or your 100th time, asking a girl out can be a pretty intimidating experience. Even the most cool-headed guy in the room actually feels nervous when approaching a girl he likes. Luckily, I have a long list of winning tips on how to ask a girl out which can boost your performance rate immensely!
First of all, asking another guy how to ask a girl out is not lame. And I quote: "He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes while he who doesn't is a fool forever." So if you want to be a wise ladies' man, read on!
Get Rid of Cheesy Pick-Up Lines.
Cheesy pick-up lines might have worked for some guys during the 90's, but those same lines won't work for girls today. And don't even begin citing movies where the guy gets to make a girl laugh by dropping one of those lines. In reality, girls are more likely to laugh in your face or be turned off by such corniness.
Replace "Dating" with "Hanging Out."
If you're already friends with the girl you want to go out with, bringing up the question can get pretty awkward. Even if there's already something between the two of you, it's not always easy to be the first one to say there is.
One way on how to ask a girl out is by asking her to hang out with you instead. "Wanna hang out at Starbucks later?" can give you more results than actually mentioning the word date.
You're not trying to deceive anyone. Essentially, you ARE asking her to spend some time with you. Besides, this allows you to be more comfortable with each other while exploring your boundaries at the same time.
Let Her Know The Itinerary.
Please don't take this too literally and give her a schedule of what you two will be doing should she say yes to you. Asking the question, "Would you like to go out with me?" is too vague and does not really work for the modern woman. What you'll want to ask is, "Would you like to go get ice cream sometime?"
This way, she can give your invitation a little more thought. This also allows her to imagine how the scenario would turn out. Getting ice cream is relatively safe and she should be more than happy to say yes. Unless of course, she doesn't like ice cream in the first place!
Learning how to ask a girl out is a game of trial and error. The rules change over time; and as always, there are exceptions. However, the tips mentioned above comply with today's sassy and sophisticated women. By employing all of them, you can avoid rejection.
Going on dates with girls is one of the most exciting times of life. It's also one of the most unnerving times too, and many guys get very nervous and apprehensive at the very thought of it. Knowing what questions to ask a girl is a very tricky subject, so here are a few tips that should make it easier for you and will help you in trying to get off on the right foot.
One thing to remember is that the girl you approach may very well be just a nervous as you, so it is important to try and put her at ease as fast as possible.
You can easily tell if a girl is hoping to meet someone simply by watching her for a few moments. One thing though, do it carefully. If she catches you staring, it could easily unnerve her. If your "covert" surveillance reveals that she is alone, (at least without male company), and that she keeps casting enquiring looks around the room, she is almost certainly hoping to be approached. Now, if you can also "accidentally" lock eyes with her, smile and get a return smile...you're in luck.
By asking the right questions from the outset, you can discover a lot about her personality, and her likes and dislikes, and it also gives her the opportunity to respond and gain information about you at the same time.
Questions to ask a girl at first is whether she is local and where she works, what she does for a living. A nice easy opener this one, and an easy opportunity for her to talk confidently back to you. Remember to offer similar information back about yourself, and in the case that she doesn't actually ask you too, volunteer the information anyway.
Asking about favourites is another cool thing to do. Favourite actors, films, books, singers, bands etc. The reason it is cool is that again it allows her to talk back to you confidently and if you respond with similar information, you are both building a picture up of each other, building rapport with one another and will soon know if the relationship is one which you would both like to develop. The best way to get some one into is to have commonalities with them, or at least pretend to.
If you would like to learn how to ask a girl questions and the art of seducing beautiful women, then visit my website and get your hands on my free report that has changed the dating life of thousands of men and turned them into dating kings.
Your first date could be the door to a happy and lasting relationship, or just the end of a relationship before it even begins. That's why finding good questions to ask on a first date is very important.
Since you and your date don't know much about each other, it could be a challenge to keep the conversation flowing throughout your date. But if you prepare some fun questions to ask in advance, it will be easy to avoid the awkward pauses.
Here are 3 fun and relaxing first date questions to ask your date...
Question #1: "How was your day?"
This is one of the best questions to ask at the beginning of your date, because it works as a great conversation starter.
Also by giving him/her the chance to talk about about him/herself and by putting the focus on him/her, you show your politeness and manners which will really make a good first impression on your date.
Also this gives you the opportunity to learn more about them based on what they did today and also HOW they talk about it.
For example if they keep complaining about how many bad things that happened today, you'll know they are most probably pessimistic and don't lead a happy life.
But if they talk about what a beautiful day it was and how much fun they had today, THAT would really make a difference.
Question #2: "What do you do for fun in your spare time?"
This is a great questions to ask to find out how much you have in common when it comes to your hobbies.
Also if your date tells you he/she is interested in a sport or activity that you like very much too, it will be the beginning of an exciting and fun conversation. You both can talk about why you love this hobby and how long you have been doing it.
Also the answers your date gives to this question will tell you a lot about his/her personality.
For example if your date says he/she loves reading so much that always spends the weekends reading books, but you're a very energetic person and love active outdoor activities, it will clearly show you're not very compatible in this part and will probably have a hard time finding fun things to do together in your possible future relationship.
What's more, this question acts as a smart way to find out if your date is a workaholic.
If you see he/she is having a hard time finding an answer to this question, or if the answers he/she gives are all about his business, this will tell you this person might be one of those people who shapes all his/her life around his work.
Question #3: "Do you have any pets?"
This question is very good because it starts a lively conversation. People love talking about their pets because they love them very much.
This lively and relaxing conversation will help you two feel more relaxed and comfortable with each other, so that you'll have a more fun time during the rest of the date.
But what if your date says he/she doesn't have a pet? Well, then simply ask "Really? Why not?" And again it will start a good conversation.
*Final Thoughts
The questions you ask in your date are important, but there's a general rule that is even more important, but actually few people do it:
Put the focus and attention on your date, and ask a lot of questions about THEM.
Be curious about him/her. And be a good listener. Be genuinely interested and listen. The more questions you ask about THEM, the more scores you'll gain.
When you do this, congratulations! Because now you are unique and stand above 90% of other men and women who date.
Here you can learn 3 important first date conversation tips to help you have a more fun and successful date.
Wish you a lot of success in your next first date!
Ladan Lashkari
Whether a date's spontaneous or planned, the first or the last date, or you're young or old, sooner or later, going out with someone comes to this: Somebody has to ask for the date.
No matter how much or how little you plan (and regardless of your reputation, your Aunt Sylvia, the knot in your stomach, the advice of your friends, your New Year's resolution, or your success with dating or lack thereof) nobody, with the possible exception of Adam, ever made a date without asking for it. I bet that even with God as the go-between, sooner or later Eve expected Adam to pony up and find the courage to ask if they could take a walk in Paradise, and if he didn't, well, it explains a lot about the snake, don't you think?
Face it, the only thing scarier than the first date is asking for the first date. But if you can remember that you're not looking for a cure for cancer, that you won't die even if he or she says "yes," and that life as we know it will continue no matter what your potential date's response, you may relax enough to actually (gulp) ask for a date.
Gazillions of perfectly normal (and lots of less than normal) people have all gotten nervous about asking for a date. You and I and everybody else are connected to a long line of sweating, nervous, stuttering, tongue-tied souls, and even the slick ones feel anxious on the inside about asking for a date. Do you feel better? No? Well, I was afraid of that. Never fear - in this chapter, I tell you some things that should comfort you in the asking, help you in the consummation, and protect you from any possible devastation beyond a teensy pinch on the ego.
Risking Rejection
The First Rule to asking for a date is this: No guts, no glory. The worst-case scenario is that the prospective date says no. At that point, you're no worse off than you are at this very moment.
Rejection is definitely not fun, but a rejection is only one person's opinion of you. You don't like everyone, and not everyone is going to like you. If someone says no, then he or she misses out on getting to know how truly terrific you are.
Rejection can be the beginning of opportunity. Scads of hugely successful people just wouldn't take no for an answer. Think about Fred Astaire: When he first went to Hollywood, a talent scout wrote, "Big ears, too skinny, big nose, can dance a little." Many famous beauties and stars in many fields had to cope with someone's negative opinion of them - nobody hasn't faced rejection.
The question is: Are you going to let it get you down? Of course not! Alexander the Great probably conquered the world by the age of 30 because some shortsighted lass turned him down - maybe because he was too intense or short or something. Maybe that rejection made him want to make more than most
Grecians earn. (It's a pun; say it out loud - but definitely don't use it until the fourth or fifth date or after you're married or your last kid leaves for college or your hearing has gone.)
Rejection means that that person says no but not that everyone will. You need to realize when no is no, when someone's showing absolutely no interest. If someone consistently says no when you ask for a date, it's okay to say, "Look, I hear that you're not interested, and I don't want to be a pest. If you ever change your mind, here's my number," or "I'll call you in a year," but then for heaven's sake, don't call any sooner than that. With time, the sting really does go away.
Conversely, if you really don't want to go out with someone, don't say, "Maybe" or "Call me next week." Just say, "Thank you for asking, but it's just not possible." Remember that the world is a very small place. You may change your mind, or that person you turn down may marry your best friend or be in a position to hire you someday. There is no reason to ever hurt someone whose only sin is being interested in you, so be gentle but firm.
Rejection isn't gender specific. It's not any easier for guys to face rejection than it is for women. We've just programmed men for power, and asking someone out is boss, even if the whole experience is tinged with fear. Either sex can feel more powerful by taking the initiative and asking someone out.
A brush-off with style
The coolest rejection I ever got was from a guy who told me that he'd just gotten a call from an old girlfriend. He said, "She's reemerged in my life, and I need to see where it goes. I'll either marry her and invite you to the wedding, or I'd like to finally put it to rest. No matter what happens, I'd like to be able to call you." Cool, huh?
Biology has nothing to do with the ability to tolerate possible rejection. Women, if you've never asked a guy out, you should do it for your own liberal education. Guys love it. However, they may think you're hotter to trot (sexually) than you really are, so take that into consideration.
If you're afraid of rejection, you may miss out on a lot in this life, which is pretty darned short as it is. See if you can put that angst away, take the chip off your shoulder, and go for it.
Improving Your Odds
When asking for a date, having a plan is crucial, but you've got to stay a little loose. The more structured you are, the more dependent you are on meshing well with a stranger. Therefore, you need to read the signs, stay loose, and keep things light, flexible, and open. You can seriously improve the chances of getting a yes if you keep these tips in mind when you ask for a date.
Never ask for a first date for a Friday or Saturday night
These two main, big, serious date nights are too important a place to start. Asking for a first date on a Friday or Saturday is like playing at Wimbledon without a tennis lesson or having ever played on grass or at all. Even people who don't have dates and haven't had one for ages are often loathe to admit their plight to a stranger (and if you haven't had a first date, you're still strangers).
Start off with a Wednesday or Thursday night, which are nights when people generally don't have much planned. Also avoid Mondays like the plague. Everybody hates Mondays.
Never say, "Would you like to go out sometime?"
If you phrase the invitation like this and the askee says "no," you've left yourself absolutely no out except to be swallowed up by a prayed-for earthquake.
If the person says "yes," you still have to ask him or her out. Yikes. Instead, be specific. It's much better to say, "I'd love to see the new exhibit at the museum. Any interest in going either Wednesday or Thursday?" You offer a specific opportunity (as well as alternative days) and at the same time, you give your potential date a great deal of room in which to negotiate without sounding wishy-washy or desperate. Giving specifics also allows your potential date a couple of seconds to think about it, rather than getting caught completely off guard.
Always offer options about the date
Options can include the day, time, activity, and transportation. Options make you sound organized without being bossy or rigid, as long as you keep them limited. Offering a few choices at the outset makes you sound less panicky than you would if you were to offer them after the potential date says no to your initial suggestion.
If you're specific about the date and your potential date doesn't like the suggested activity but does like you, you can modify your plan.
Also, although a plan with several separate possibilities requires more work on your part, it offers a better chance of success - and a chance to figure out whether your potential date has any interest in you. After all, if you've offered all options regarding place, time, date, activity, and so on and the answer is still no, the problem is as clear as the writing on the wall, and you've hit the wall. Take a deep breath and move on. It's not the end of the world, just this potential date. Scary but efficient.
By offering to meet there, go in separate cars, or pick her up, you instantly show yourself to be considerate, capable, and sensitive to the fact that females have heard horror stories about being abducted by a date and never seen again.Although you're not Jack the Ripper, understanding that she may feel a little uneasy about being in a car with a stranger makes you a liberated and cool guy for thinking like a modern woman. You will score major points.
In the initial stages of dating, people sometimes want so much to be liked that they agree to things at the expense of their integrity. If your potential date has enough sense to say, "I'd love to do something with you, just not mud wrestling," then give that person a gold star. Don't be offended - be pleased. You have just found someone with brains, courage, and honesty.
Remember that timing is everything
Don't ask for tomorrow or next year. A basic rule is to ask for a first date a week to ten days in advance, but you can break this rule with impunity as the need arises. You can ignore these guidelines if the spirit moves you to be spontaneous. For example, "Hey, got time for an ice cream cone?" can get you an immediate yes; you can also expand this invitation to a "maybe next week" if you get a no.
Now is always a better time to ask than later because your courage may diminish over time. There are some obvious exceptions to this rule: Don't ask someone who is in a crisis (never ask for a date at a funeral), just getting out of a relationship (never ask for a date at a divorce hearing, even if the person isn't one of the parties involved; it's bad karma), or going through any other experience when you may appear to be exploiting a weakness. You need to take the other person's life situation into account as well.
Always go for it if you're having a good hair or anything else day
You're cuter when you're happy, and self-confidence is sexy. Don't get into the "well, today is a write-off, I may as well ask, get rejected, and make it a perfect score" mentality. You can tolerate being turned down more easily when you're feeling strong - not to mention that rejection is a lot less likely.
Asking someone out for a first date isn't the time to trot out your best anything, including your imagination, checkbook, or best friend. This is a time to think KISS: Keep it Simple, Sweetie. All you want to do here is send a clear and gentle but important message: I'd like to spend some time getting to know you better. Are you interested?
The Invitation: Sending the Message
You have several options when actually asking for the date. The choices may be influenced by circumstances (like distance), personality, and personal style. In general, the closer you are when you ask, the better. When you're close to the person, you get more information, you appear more courageous, and you get some practice for the date.
Answering machine etiquette
An answering machine message, unlike an offthe- cuff remark or rumor or discussion, can be saved and replayed and misinterpreted and overanalyzed and overreacted to and thrown back in your face. Not only that, but you never know who's going to be listening on the other end. Here are six messages never to leave on a date's machine:
1. You're the best I've ever had.
2. I never want to see you again.
3. It's me. Give me a call.
4. Next time, we'll go out.
5. Your mother is hot.
6 Can I have your friend's phone number?
You can adapt any of the following methods for sending the message to your level of comfort. But be careful that you're not hiding behind your comfort level - sooner or later, you're going to have to get out there and actually date.
1. Asking in person: When possible, this is the best way to ask by far because seeing the person face-to-face gives you the most information. You can read body language and see whether the potential date looks pleased, terrified, God-forbid-revolted, or delighted. Based on the other person's reaction, you can then modify your behavior accordingly or run. The disadvantage with asking in person is that it's also the scariest for the exact same reasons. But it's still preferred and also the friendliest technique.
2. Asking on the phone: This method gives you less information, but if you get panicky, you can always hang up before they answer (although caller ID has made hanging up without saying anything a great deal trickier). When you ask over the phone, nobody can see your palms sweating; but then again, you also can't see your potential date's reaction.
Never ask an answering machine for a date. It's cowardly, sends the wrong message (you're manipulating them by making them call back before you ask them out), and occasionally, the machine actually eats the message. You never know if your potential date got the message or if it was intercepted by a protective parent, a jealous ex, a careless roommate, or the Fates.
3. Asking through a third party: In elementary school, you may have asked your best friend to ask her best friend if someone liked you. You may have even eventually gotten an answer, but after Suzy told Peter, and Peter told you, were you really 100 percent sure about the answer? Third parties are a very unreliable method of information flow. When other people get involved, sometimes they add their two cents to your message. For example, what if your best friend liked me and wanted you to ask me if I'd go out on a date with him? Can you see lots of room for sabotage and miscommunication?
Remember the story of our Pilgrim forefathers, John Alden and Miles Standish? Miles was the governor who asked his best friend John to intercede on his behalf with Priscilla Mullens. Priscilla decided she liked the messenger, and Miles was left out in the cold. Don't ask somebody else to ask for your date. The messenger may end up taking your potential date, and then not only do you still need a date but you also need a new friend.
4. Asking with a note: Even though computers have made notes faster and sexier, notes don't offer you much information and feedback, whether they're e-mail or snail mail (through the post office). When you ask with a note, you also don't know the mood your potential date may be in. In addition, a note opens the opportunity for interception, misinterpretation, a delay in feedback, and a lack of flexibility. Ask anybody who's asked for an RSVP to a written invitation, and you begin to understand the problem with asking for a date through a note. If you're absolutely determined to ask for a date in writing, I suggest a handwritten note via the post office because it's classier and implies more effort and concern.
A brief note here on sending a note with flowers, cigars, wine, a baseball hat, a ticket, or any gift: Sending gifts with the note is cute but tricky. You don't want to appear to be bribing your potential date on the first date. Gifts can be a token of respect and admiration and are okay and even valuable as you're getting to know each other, but they can be too much too soon. Besides, you don't want to have to top yourself later and end up buying your potential date a small country by the fourth date. Start out simply.
Getting an Answer
Okey, dokey - you've made plans, offered options, and asked for a date. Now what? Well, either the answer is yes, you have a date, or no, you don't. If the answer is yes, you're flying and ready to go on to planning the old date-aroony.
Dealing with a no
If the answer is no, you have nothing to lose by asking if another day, place, time, or event would suit them. Listen to the response carefully. Often people really are tied up working late, taking care of a sick parent, getting out of a relationship, studying, or being distracted and would be willing to consider an invitation in the future, just not now.
If you're feeling brave, you can say, "If not now, how soon?" If you're feeling a bit vulnerable, you can say, "Let me give you my number, and you can give me a call when you're ready." The middle ground is to say, "Why don't I give you a holler in a week or two and see how you're doing?" If your potential date says fine, then do it. If he or she says "I'll call you," don't hold your breath. Who needs to turn blue?
Getting some feedback
If you get a no, you may want to take a minute to try to figure out why. Make sure you haven't gotten into some bad habits. You may need to ask yourself some tough questions. Are you too eager, too desperate, too whiny, too silly, or too tense? Is your breath okay? Do you make eye contact?
No matter how honest you think you are, give yourself some balance by asking a willing friend to critique your approach (you've seen it in a million movies where the hero or heroine practices in front of a mirror - no, not Travis Bickle's "You lookin' at me?" line). Balance your friend's feedback with your own opinion so that you're not being too easy or too harsh on yourself. If you mess up your careful scenario, your friend can give you some tips and hints on improving it, and you can make sense of what you meant to say or do.
Practicing can help you get a grip on your nerves. A little nervousness is flattering to the potential date because it shows that you really want to get to know him or her. Too much nervousness can panic both of you. All things considered, it's probably even better to be a little bit nervous than so nonchalant and cool that your potential date has the sense you couldn't care less if he or she accepts your invitation or not, because if he or she isn't interested, no biggie, it's not them, you'll just move on to someone else. It's not a terrible idea to start a first date on an honest basis. I know - don't tell anybody I told you, and we'll try to keep it our dirty little secret.
The first thing to look at is consistency. How consistent are you in your relationship? How about your partner? Can you count on each other? Are you there for each other day to day in consistent ways? Romance and excitement are nice adornments, but day to day routine and consistent expectations contribute to a feeling of safety. Being reliable on a day to day basis will build a relationship based on trust.
The next thing you need to pay attention to are communication skills. How well do you deliver your intended message to your partner and them to you? Do your words match your facial expressions? Does your body language match what you are saying? Also, is your intended message being received? Most disagreements in a relationship occur due to a misunderstanding. It isn’t the toothpaste cap that is the issue; it is typically an underlying communication mishap. You and your partner need to be able to trust each other’s words, to have complete surety that what is being said is exactly what is intended. When your words match your body language, when you say what you mean, you will build trust in a relationship.
Believing in yourself, believing in your partner and in each other’s competence as human beings is crucial to a relationship built on trust. If there are aspects of your partner that you are not comfortable with, a gentle and honest discussion about your insecurities is far better than silence, fear and resentment for building trust in a relationship. Finding your partner’s strengths and then noticing them with compliments and praise creates a feeling of safety and acceptance in their part. This will, in turn, come back to you. If your partner does something you don’t like or is inadequate at something that is important to you, a loving and accepting conversation, while perhaps difficult, will become the base of a loving and trusting relationship.
Complete honesty is imperative in any successful relationship. The fourth step you must take is learning and practicing how to be truthful with your partner. You cannot build trust in a relationship if you are keeping secrets. Secrecy of any kind will destroy the trust in a relationship. Being honest and open can seem basic and easy but it requires intention. The truth will always be revealed and the truth will always set you free. Keeping a secret puts an invisible fence between you and your partner. Secrets require energy to keep and more lies to maintain. This is time and energy you could be putting into your relationship. No matter how difficult it may seem, an honest and open relationship will always be a trusting relationship.
Good communication has already been identified a necessary part of building trust in a relationship but the fifth step, communicating your needs takes this to the next level. It can be uncomfortable to share your needs, especially early on in a relationship. But we get our needs met whether we express them or not and often in unhealthy ways. In order to keep solid in your relationship and build trust it is necessary to share your needs, physical, emotional and social with your partner. You must also be willing to hear your partner’s needs and try to meet them. Making your girlfriend or boyfriend guesses what you need or what you are upset about creates tension and resentment which will get in the way of building trust in a relationship. Expressing your needs does not make you selfish but rather self aware and this will go a long way in being able to trust your partner.
The Sixth Step is to learn to say no. It is human nature to want to please others, but when you are putting some else’s need and wants ahead of yours all the time it can have a negative effect. When you say yes and actually mean no then you send a conflicted message that will make your partner uncomfortable. He/she needs to know that you mean what you say. It is a good thing when your partner voices his or her needs but you don’t need to say yes to everything. Saying no when you need to will help your partner see who you are and respect you because you are laying down boundaries. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Standing your ground, when appropriate, and seeing your partner do the same creates a climate of give and take and will help to build trust in a relationship.
Step number seven is all about you. You must always continue to grow and stretch as a human being. Anything that is alive needs constant nurturing and attention and is always growing and changing. By continually bettering yourself and allowing and encouraging your partner to do the same you become two stronger halves of your whole relationship. You must also continually nurture the relationship as its own living entity, separate from the two of you. Like a river, there are times when the water slows and gets murky. It widens and slows, the bottom disappears. Eventually, to maintain health, the river becomes narrow and turbulent. The water flows over rocks and tumbles down waterfalls. Your relationship will do the same and while the rocky parts can feel uncomfortable, the cleanest water is just after a waterfall. Acknowledging these aspects of a relationship and weathering them together will build trust in a relationship.
Focusing on trust in a relationship may be painful, but as you work through this pain you are not only strengthening yourself individually, but as a couple as well.
Find out how to get an ex back with ease.
How to get your girlfriend back using this simple blueprint plan
How to get your boyfriend back in simple, easy to understand steps
Is your relationship on the verge of breaking up? Or maybe you're already broken up but now you're having second thought. Here are some questions to ask before ending a relationship. Answering these questions honestly will help you get your head clear and give you an idea of what your next move should be.
It's perfectly normal to have uncertainty in a relationship. If you have strong feelings for your partner, there is a good chance you want to give the relationship a fair chance to work out. On one hand, you want to be understanding and compromising... but within reason. On the other hand, you don't want to be so compromising that you end up settling, or worse... putting up with behavior that is totally unacceptable.
- Is there any kind of physical or emotional abuse? If so, this is where you definitely draw the line. Get out of the relationship now.
- Has there been any instances of infidelity? This can be a tough one. Couples work through difficult situations like this all the time. If your partner cheated and you feel like you can forgive them, then be certain the two of you are working towards healing the problems that led to the cheating. Counseling may be in order here.
- Do the two of you share the same values and principles? Having the same core life values in common is much more important than having the exact same taste in music, movies, etc.
- Are the two of you genuinely in love? I'm not talking about the "butterflies in the stomach" feelings you had when you first met. Relationships develop in stages, and the infatuation stage is one that ends fairly quickly. I'm talking about a genuine, deep unconditional love for your partner and vice versa. Sometimes couples fall out of love and it's nobody's fault. There are things you can do to reconnect, but if that's not working, then you may want to consider moving on.
- Do you the two of you like each other? Liking your partner is just as important as loving them. Yes, you can love someone but not like them. It's normal to feel irritated with your partner from time to time... you spend a lot of time with each other. But overall, you should like the type of person they are.
These are some of the core questions to ask before ending a relationship. Breaking up is a big decision, and often times people regret their decision later. If some mistakes were made but now you'd like a second chance, then the good news is that no situation is impossible. If you want to salvage your relationship then you don't want to just "wing it" and hope everything works out. It's best to have a plan... a plan that works with your partner's natural instincts rather than against them.
Can you win your ex back? Yes... but only if you avoid the common mistakes almost EVERYONE makes. Check out http://www.howtogetboyfriendbackfast.com to read more about the questions to ask before ending a relationship and free tips on EXACTLY what to do and say to get your loved one back in your arms and heal your relationship.
You know this guy. You're pretty sure that he likes you and you're starting to come around to him too. But, he hasn't taken that giant leap and asked you out yet. While you can't force him to go out with you, there are things you can do to make him more likely to ask you out.
So let's learn how to get a guy that you like to ask you out. Here are 3 tips to get him to ask you out:
1). Put yourself in positions that he can ask you out easily.
He probably won't ask you out in front of your friends. Try to get alone with him, but don't make him feel too uncomfortable. Just make sure that you are safe as in people would be able to tell if you were being hit or stuff like that. Remember, it might be a "jump" out of that guy's comfort zone to ask you out. Try to become friends with him, so it only becomes a step.
2). Make one on one communication with him
If he can't talk to you comfortably, you two shouldn't be going out yet. If he has a chance to talk with you one-on-one, and he may feel more comfortable asking you out later (don't expect an invitation right then). Instead of being romantic, keep the conversation practical and friendly and appreciative. Do not forget having fun, laughing and flirting is being very smart
3). Signal him in.
Now you are talking and flirting, you really need to signal him in to ask you out. The best way is to talk about doing things couple usually do, like going to the movies, going out to dinner and if you are game, mention the fact you have no guy usually to go with (try and do this in a light hearted way).
Also try sneaking into the conversation snippets about boyfriends, girlfriends and relationships to identify the fact you are both single. It helps to focus the conversation a little.
Now, if he still did not ask you out, what can you do about it?
Ask him out!
Just ask him yourself. Plenty of girls ask out guys nowadays. It's fine if he says no. Just don't let it get you down. Stay positive and move on. Remember, he might be interested in you, but he might just not be ready for a relationship. Don't pressure him too much. He will ask you out when he is ready. Just take action! Taking action is a victory in itself. Focus on the action, not the outcome. Good luck, girls!
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Is your relationship on the verge of breaking up? Or maybe you're already broken up but now you're having second thought. Here are some questions to ask before ending a relationship. Answering these questions honestly will help you get your head clear and give you an idea of what your next move should be.
It's perfectly normal to have uncertainty in a relationship. If you have strong feelings for your partner, there is a good chance you want to give the relationship a fair chance to work out. On one hand, you want to be understanding and compromising... but within reason. On the other hand, you don't want to be so compromising that you end up settling, or worse... putting up with behavior that is totally unacceptable.
- Is there any kind of physical or emotional abuse? If so, this is where you definitely draw the line. Get out of the relationship now.
- Has there been any instances of infidelity? This can be a tough one. Couples work through difficult situations like this all the time. If your partner cheated and you feel like you can forgive them, then be certain the two of you are working towards healing the problems that led to the cheating. Counseling may be in order here.
- Do the two of you share the same values and principles? Having the same core life values in common is much more important than having the exact same taste in music, movies, etc.
- Are the two of you genuinely in love? I'm not talking about the "butterflies in the stomach" feelings you had when you first met. Relationships develop in stages, and the infatuation stage is one that ends fairly quickly. I'm talking about a genuine, deep unconditional love for your partner and vice versa. Sometimes couples fall out of love and it's nobody's fault. There are things you can do to reconnect, but if that's not working, then you may want to consider moving on.
- Do you the two of you like each other? Liking your partner is just as important as loving them. Yes, you can love someone but not like them. It's normal to feel irritated with your partner from time to time... you spend a lot of time with each other. But overall, you should like the type of person they are.
These are some of the core questions to ask before ending a relationship. Breaking up is a big decision, and often times people regret their decision later. If some mistakes were made but now you'd like a second chance, then the good news is that no situation is impossible. If you want to salvage your relationship then you don't want to just "wing it" and hope everything works out. It's best to have a plan... a plan that works with your partner's natural instincts rather than against them.
Marriage is something that you will not just be able to toss away, although, divorce now is more popular than marriage. When you agree to marry someone who are agreeing to share your life with them, it is very important to understand that marriage is more than just love. It is waking up every day to the same person and not feeling one bit different about them. It is about unconditional love.
There are some questions that you will want to ask yourself before you marry.
1) Ask yourself why you want to get married.
There is always reason other than love that one would want to get married. You have to be open to yourself and to your partner about the real reason why you may want to take the plunge. Some people feel that it is their duty. Some people feel that it is just right for them. Others feel that they would like to start the family chapter in their life. What is it that is pushing you to feel like you really want to get married?
2) What do you love about your mate?
Are things going to get annoying in time? If they changed 'these things' that you love about them would you're love for them change as well. These are all good related questions that you will need to know answers about. You need to ask yourself such questions because you need to know if your love is conditional or unconditional. If it is conditional, you will know right away when you begin to think about it. Unconditional means things can change. The world can change, but nothing will ever change the way that you feel about the person. If change does exist, it is because you have fallen more in love them than you ever could image.
3) What are the things that you truly hate about the person?
They are to be a few things that you hate about the person. Things that truly grate on your last nerve, however, if you can accept all of their faults to still want to get married, and then you really do love unconditionally.
4) The saying, "I love you, but I don't have to like you."
Is there anything in the world that this person could do to make you love them any less. Things other than the obvious like cheating, lying, deceiving, and such. If there are things that are not the unacceptable behavior by most social standards, you may want to rethink the marriage, but you may still eventually be able to say, "yes," to marriage.
5) Are you ready to be husband?
Have you two discussed your role in the marriage? Some people will find that they jumped too quickly into marriage and then they ended up not realizing what that intended. You should tell your mate what you expect from them as your married partner. You need to have this conversation so that married life does not end up being a shock to you.
6) Ask yourself if this is something that you can make the commitment to.
Is this something that you would be able to keep going for the rest of your life? Remember, saying "I Do," means more than just right now. It is a life changing experience. It is something that you are going to have to live with for the rest of your life.
Divorce does not mean anything. It just means that you legally are not obligated to see the person anymore, but then there are the holidays and special occasions. You do not have to think that you can feel okay with marriage, because if it does not work out because of divorce you should want to get married because you want to spend the rest of your life sharing it with someone special.
7) How do you feel right now?
Do you feel right now, like this is right? Let your heart, guide, but allow your brain to think things through. You will want to make sure that you feel right about the choice and that you can live with this.
When it comes to marriage, you have to think about things that most people think about after the wedding. It is important to understand the reasoning behind your actions and how you feel about marriage and the person that you love.
When it comes to marriage it is scary and overwhelming, but it is worth every feeling in the end. It is worth everything that you ever go through because marriage has so many good things that you hardly care about the bad things. Marriage in general is the way that you can be happy with the one that you love and want.
Getting My Ex Back by Putting Myself in a beneficial Position in order to stop a break up
I guess there are many couples who left due to several reasons, like their work commitment, family matters, school, etc. These are pretty normal nowadays as the world is now changing rapidly to catch up the swift technological and economical changes. Maybe the boyfriend intends to leave is mainly because sometimes his girlfriend has actually done something wrong to him for many times, or boyfriend thinks that it is not ideal to continue in the relationship that results in having the break up between both of them.
You may be wondering how both of them can put together in a beneficial position such that there is a making up process instead of breaking up? Do not have to get tensed up and worried about. There are many ways that you can learn how to get both of you back in a beneficial position. I will teach both of you at the later part of this article, so that you do not have to continue breaking up which both of you do not wish that anymore.
Maybe, your lover has just decided to break up with you, so is it possible to get your ex back and stop a breakup. This is a question that you may like to think. While there is no guarantee that you can definitely get your ex back and that it may not be the best choice for you, there are always things that you can do to improve your chances of success. You want to put yourself in a beneficial position instead of a disadvantageous one. This is because it is due to our psychological and intellectual thinking whether we can succeed for the making up relationship that really matter to all the couples who have just broken up.
On another side, some couples do not like to drag breaking up for very long process. They prefer to have their ex back while thinking of ways to satisfy and calm each others' doubts and unhappiness due to the things that happen in the past. It is very normal and understandable that you will probably in an emotional turmoil especially when you have just broken up with your lover. However, you do not want to let yourself stay in this state of mind. This is a very disadvantageous position to be in. When you are in this state of mind, you will tend to make the wrong decision. And if you approach your ex during this period, you are very prone to making mistakes that will repel your ex even further away than it will help your situation.
What you want to do is to get yourself to become positive and get out of depression. Doing so will allow you to have a clearer mind. When you have a clearer mind, you will be able to think about your situation in a very objective manner. In fact, you might even decide that it is better for you to let go of the relationship than to cling on to it. However, even if you decide that you still want to get your ex back, you will definitely be in a better position to do so when you have a positive mindset.
In a nutshell, you need to have a positive thinking mindset and a relaxing life. Once you easily get depressed, disturbed, frustrated, and worried, no matter how hard you have tried to resolve your relationship with your ex turn out to be a naught. Therefore, it is important for you to stay cool and calm. Things will gradually become smoother and easier to handle when your ex has decided to come back to your side. You will eventually receive the beneficial position of making up your relationship with your ex love one than having breaking up. Once again, I do wish all of you a happy, blessed, blissful, belated relationship with your ex for many years to come.
Indeed, life is short. Don't let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today. It can change or affect the rest of your life, therefore, at the very least, you can try to come out something for your ex love partner during your weekend plans. With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared earlier. If you have faced any problems with your loved ones, do not hesitate to visit this piece of article again.
I really have a strong belief that if you can understand what I have explained and applied what you have learnt from this piece of article, your problems can be eventually solved and your making up relationship can become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best for your making up relationship with your partner. Do always remember to spread word of mouth to your fellow friends for supporting the decision of having making up than breaking up.
How to get your boyfriend back?
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Hmmm, this is a tough one to do without getting eggs on your face. This is something that has troubled man for many years and will trouble them for many more. It is far and away one of the toughest things young men are faced with, but face it, the ball is in our court and we have to take the initiative in a relationship so you better learn how to ask out a girl.
Before you get all of the priceless information you are about to read, you are going to have to come to grips with one thing. That is that you are going to face a lot of no's when you throw yourself out there and ask out a girl. Let's face it, men are idiots most of the time and we think far too much of ourselves on many occasions and we misread the signs that the girl is throwing out there plain as day. You lean towards her and she leans back and you think she is showing you her flexibility when in reality, she is trying to get as far away from you as she possibly can.
One of the first things you must learn about how to ask out a girl, is preparing yourself for her tos say no. Once you overcome that you need to get your game plan together to do all you can to make sure she says yes. Be prepared for the worst, but expect the best. You do this by showing confidence without being too cocky but also by being funny and by offering her something that she is interested in. You get there by having a meaningful conversation with her and finding out what she likes. If she loves fine dining and you can get in at the hottest restaurant in town, that may be the thing that brings her over to your side of the fence. If she was iffy, she may just give you a shot because you are asking her to do something that she actually likes, not just what you like. Invite her out and do it with confidence and you may just find yourself not hanging out with the boys this Saturday Night.
If you would like to learn how to ask a girl out and the art of seducing beautiful women, then visit my website and get your hands on my free report that has changed the dating life of thousands of men and turned them into dating kings.